by Ivete dos Santos
About the Author:
Ivete dos Santos was born in Brazil and she is at the University of Miami to improve her English. (For a more detailed biography, see Fall 2010, Sept., Meet the Class.)
“Alberta having looked very long into life, had looked very far. She had put out her hands to touch things that had pleased her and her lips to kiss them. Her eyes were deep brown wells that have been drinking, drinking impressions and treasuring them in her soul. They were mysterious eyes and love still looked out of them.” Love always would be a constant in her life.
Looking into the mirror, Alberta after 20 years could see that the human being is very closely related with the environment where one lives, environment that shapes the character, the personality of an individual. In her life, she did not know who her natural mother was, and when Alberta was exposed to the world, she could be nurtured either by a wanton or by a nun. The same person has two sides, as a coin. It seems that God plays a game with us and, at random, throws the coin, and depending on the result, your fate is launched. Yes, looking through the mirror, Alberta was able to see the reverse of it. Had she been nurtured by another, what could have happened? Could she now be regretful about what she could have lost? She knew that she was born with the same eyes, the same soul that made her live by love, this mysterious feeling that pushed her to do things so affectionately. Therefore, she was sure that, even if she had lived the reverse of the coin, she would love with the same intensity, due to the fact that it is really her nature and nothing nor no one could change it.
Alberta indeed was made for love, but not for what the majority of the people at that time considered to be the “real love”, which meant getting married, having children and living only for the sake of the family, under the shadow of a husband. This concept of love does not exist for her. She has a free mind, and cannot stand the idea of not having her own desire, her independence. Alberta, either a wanton or a nun, built her life on her own perspective of freedom and had a big power over others. While the wanton used her physical strength - “but he had best have a care;…and she carries a knife” (pg. 60) - the nun used her spiritual energy - “And others having abounding faith, have been cured of bodily ailments by the touch of her beautiful hands” (pg. 61).
In front of the mirror, Alberta began to play with her life. She was seeing two Albertas, and, inexplicably, she started a strange but revealing conversation:
“ We are the same person, the same soul, but, because of an irony of destiny, we split in two.” Although we devote the same desire for love, we have chosen different ways to express it.” ‘Alberta’s body was too beautiful to be beaten – it was made for love’ (pg. 59). Nonetheless, ‘Even her pious guide and counsellor does not equal her in sanctity. Because Alberta is endowed with the powerful gift of a great love…’ (pg.60/61).
“It’s true. Different worlds shaped us. One of us learned with people who no longer stay with her.” ‘She had hardly the time to fix her affections upon the men and women who came into her life…’ (pg. 59) and another learned with a ‘very holy woman’ (pg. 60).
“You never realized how beautiful you were! You did not concern yourself about that. Why has someone taken such a gift for granted and never taken advantage of it,” said the Wanton. ‘ Alberta does not know that she is beautiful…but she is beautiful, with a glow of a holy passion …’ (pg. 61).
“I really didn’t care about body, I prefer to take care of my soul. It is eternal while the other is ephemeral. However, you only thought about your body and how to have profit with it,” said the Nun.) ‘Alberta is a most beautiful woman, and she takes great care of her body…’ (pg. 59).
The Wanton said, after seconds, “ Do you know, I think you reached the ecstasy, the real carnal ecstasy, although you don’t know how to denominate it.” In fact, I dare to call your visions…” ‘She could not describe in words the ecstasy…she had lived in Christ’ (pg. 61).
“Don’t say those blasphemies. It can be your biggest sin!” cried the shamed Nun.
Who knows the truth. Life is a trick! Who is the real Alberta? Perhaps, both can live in the same body and soul. And to develop one to the detriment of another depends on the environment and what you carry in your nature. There is a Cherokee legend that says we always have a big fight inside us, and this fight is between two wolves: one is evil and the other is good. Which wolf will win? The one we feed.
After 20 years, Alberta is now waiting for the consequence of her past. A wanton or a nun? If a wanton, she is looking at the mirror in a cellar while waiting for the guards to conduct her to the death, because after some deaths on her shoulders, she could not have hidden longer from the police. On the other side, if she is a nun, she is in her room, waiting to receive her title of Mother Superior!
Work Cited
Chopin, Kate. “Two Portraits.” 1895. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction. Ruth Spack. New York: St. Martin’s, 1994. 58-61.
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